Groovey TV


(Rules of The Gauntlet: The artist (in this case, aggressive, dark electronic music project, Dead Agent) is sent a butt ton of questions ranging from standard to stupid from which they must choose at least 12 to answer and return them to us with a minimum of tear stains).

  • Tell me why your music rules. Or why it sucks.

It may rule if you dig dark electronics, heavy beats, and serial killer documentaries. It may suck if you don’t like any of those things.

  • Which Muppet would you marry, which one would you wanna knife fight in a swamp, and which one should be our global emperor? Why?

Marry and fuck: Janice, the guitar player

Knife fight: all the muppet babies. Fuck them kids.

Global Emperor: Uncle Deadly

  • Tell me about your new album.  The writing, vibe, production/producers, etc.

SGT_SLTR_MLN is the audio side of a collaboration between visual artist sgt_slaughtermelon / Matt Wallace and myself. He asked me to a song up for an art installation he was planning, and I loved what he was creating. One song turned into six, plus two remixes.

During the writing process I got a lot of great feedback and encouragement of artists like Ged Denton (C-Tec, Scere, Der Prosector), Dan Milligan (The Joy Thieves/Drownbeat), and I Ya Toyah. This was amazing and invaluable.

  • What are you working on right now?

I am writing answers to this interview. In the next few days I’ll hopefully finish up a remaster of my Retina EP, and start on a remix for Dogtablet. Very excited about that one.

  • Why do you make your style of music? Why not polka? or Japanese symphonic folk metal? or..?

I’ve always loved dark electronics and harsh industrial sounds. Early Nine Inch Nails and Front 242 were big influences, as well as a lot of machine rock bands like Chemlab and 16 Volt. Also, this is music I can produce entirely on my laptop – I can’t play any instruments very well. This lends itself to one-person bands.

  • Show us your best interpretive dance about your favorite TV show.
  • Which voice in your head is the craziest?

Oh, the only one. My own. It’s not well, trust me.

  • Top 2 stupidest things you’ve ever done.

One time I turned on the water softener at my old house, that had been shut off since I bought the property. “Oh, I just need to turn it on!” That month I got a bill for $1400. Oops.

Do not get married for insurance purposes.What’s the history of your band as told by your favorite fictional character?

  • How often do you work on your music?

I try to do it at least twice a week. I have a day job, and working every day and night is a bad scene, man. When I have time off I put in more music work.

  • What is your philosophy? Motto?

The only thing that matters in life is the impact we’ve had on others.

  • What is an extravaganza? And why is having an extra “vaganza” so special?

Have you ever met someone with two vaganzas? Seems pretty special to me.

  • Do you have names for your instruments? If so what are they?

“FUCKING STAY IN TUNE” 1, 2, and three.

  • What exactly is “Going apeshit?”

Next ape I meet I will ask, but I don’t think they will be happy about it.

  • Who are your influences?

All of them? Yeesh. That will take a while. Here’s some musical influences:

  1. Commodore 64 game and demo scene music
  2. Chemlab
  3. Front Line Assembly
  4. The Prodigy
  5. Rage Against The Machine
  • Have you named your bodily parts and what are they?

The Stranger and The Danger

  • Peace or freedom?  (You can’t have both.)Why?

When we are alive, we cannot be at peace without freedom. Anything else is servitude. Peace without freedom only comes in death.

  • How long could you live without money?

With the supplies I have now? Would my utilities still operate for a while? I need answers, dammit!

  • What legendary musicians would you like to play badminton with?

The Edge. But I’d let him win so we could go get a pint.

  • What was the last song you listened to before this interview?

Haex – Daggers

  • When was the last time you figuratively put your foot in your mouth? (or literal if you can do so.) Details please.

As a child I could at least get my toes to my mouth. If I tried to do that now I’m quite certain I would never walk again.

Figuratively: multiple times a day.

  • Any tours planned?

I’m planning on touring the couches in my house/.

  • Why should people experience your music?

If you dig what I’m putting out there, I’m a cool cat who likes to lay down the jams.

  • If you were facing unbeatable and fatal odds what song would you want to check
  • out to? Why?

Sugar – Tilted

  • Describe your face.

Someone recently said I look like a cross between Macaulay Culkin and Mark Maron. Not sure if that was a compliment.

  • Stella or Guinness? Why?

Eh, I’m a cider and cocktail guy.

  • What musicians should quit forever and never be seen or heard from again?

No one based on their art. R. Kelly seems like a solid choice.

  • What would you like to say to your fans?

Thank you so much. Also, why?

  • Where do your song names come from?

Dope-sounding computer shit.

  • There’s a good chance you will look back and be embarrassed by your

      current hairstyle.  Discuss.

Look, I am keeping it real.

  • If you could accomplish one thing in a music career what would it be?  When you achieve that will you quit?

I would like to record another machine rock album, and be really proud of it. I will not quit, no.

  • Top five favorite albums?

Really off the top of my head here:

Chemlab – Burn Out At The Hydrogen Bar

U2 – Pop

Metallica – Master of Puppets

Front Life Assembly – Artificial Soldier

Rage Against The Machine – The Battle of Los Angeles

  • Would you accept 1 million dollars now to give up any and all music forever?  If not what is your price?

Ooof. That’s hard. Could I still listen to podcasts? If so, I’d need $10m.

  • What master musicians would you like to study with?

The Edge, Mark Walk, and Tom Morello seem like solid choices.

  • What are your thoughts on the music in general?

Music is a good idea. The commoditization of recorded music is disappointing, but an inevitable outcome of technology, which also has made creative and communication tools much more accessible.

  • What really pisses you off?

People who don’t or won’t think about the consequences of their actions for others.

  • Who the fuck do you think you are?

That was a bit presumptuous of me.

  • If you could ask yourself one question what would it be?


  • Are you artsy or are you fartsy? Explain.

I want to be artsy, but I’m much more fartsy.

  • What is the loneliest letter?


  • Without looking which presidents are on which bills? 

Ben Franklin was never president!

  • Falstaff or Prince Hal?

I’m more of a Prince and the Revolution guy.

  • Worst thing ever eaten?

Frozen spinach. Awful.

  • What do you geek out to besides your music?  Please geek out on your geekiness.

I own a ton of old video game consoles and computers. I am a web and software developer and dig that process a lot. I like single-player video games with lots of story and universe-building.

  • What are some of the unwritten rules of tours?

All I know about touring I learned from Spinal Tap. So, make sure you mark down feet, not inches.

  • How many unarmed but very angry 4 year olds would it take to kick your ass?

I feel like I could take on at least 5. Fuck them kids.

  • If you had a time machine what would you do with it?

This seems like a bad idea.

  • What are your detailed thoughts on yodeling?

Should we be discussing this in public?

  • If you won a chance to kiss Miley Cyrus or Justin Bieber how would you escape to the space station?

I’m good with Miley. Justin seems like a bit of a mess.

  • Wheelie or endo?

I prefer to get high on life. Wheelie.

LOL nah I don’t smoke tho.

  • Name two people cooler than Evel Kneivel. Why? 

Impossible to answer. Have never existed.

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I sit next to people with famousosity and try to make them laugh.

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