(Rules of The Gauntlet: The artist (Like in this case the Hard Rockers Last Bullet) is sent a butt ton of questions ranging from standard to stupid from which they must choose at least 12 to answer and return them to us with a minimum of tear stains.)
Q. Top 2 Stupidest Things You’ve Ever Done?
Having had no previous experience on a motorcycle of any kind, nor any knowledge of the roads, conditions or the area where I was staying, I rented a dirt bike when I was on vacation in Cuba and then I took off on my own outside the resort and sped down a bunch of dirt roads only to completely wipeout, total the bike and drag/burn a third of the skin off of my right arm in the process. Apparently there are no hospitals in Cuba that you can go to as a tourist, so I was forced to spend the rest of the week burning and cleaning the shit out of my wounded arm with salt water by snorkelling in the ocean.
Luckily I wanted to get a new tattoo anyway, so I covered up the massive scars with a huge wing up my arm…
Lastly, when I was about 11 or 12. My best friend and I would get really bored and try to think up creative, grown up or financially beneficial things that we can do. So one day we thought it was a great idea to try and make our own Cigarettes. We looked at at one, broke it down and figured that it was nothing more than paper, tobacco and a filter. We didn’t have any filters so we cut up small bits of dish washing sponge, we didn’t have proper paper so we used rolled up post-it notes with the adhesive part holding the sponge-filter in place, and we didn’t have any tobacco so we used pine needles, rose pedals, and any other pleasant smelling dried plant that we could find. We made about 8 of them put them in a custom box we designed and called them Moose Brand Nature Cigarettes.
That was all great until we decided to actually try smoking them. We lit one up, took a pull, and could somewhat taste some harsh smoke from the burning plant. So we pulled a lot harder the second time… The sponge caught fire and melted causing the flames to shoot directly into the back of our throats, causing us to choke and cough out a plume of disgusting, dark black, tar, plastic melted, post-it note, pine needle burning smoke.
… We never made cigarettes again.
Q. Peace or Freedom? Why?
Peace should never have to come at the cost of our freedom. Oppression of any kind on society suppresses our ability to innovate, create, progress and evolve. All things which could help us attain peace at some point in the future, should we become enlightened, wise and intelligent enough. There can be no peace without a cost and freedom is too high a price. I’d rather choose freedom and have the cost of peace, be the time and hardships that we have to go through to attain it, and when we do, it will be earned through experience and history rather than being forced or decided upon us.
Q. Which Band Member Are You Positive Is An Extra-Terrestrial And What Does Their Planet Look Like?
If I had to choose it would probably be our bassist Will.
I’m confident he comes from the planet Fuelium. A barren wasteland covered in harsh, dry, desert plains, sandwiched between massive gasoline filled oceans, protected by creatures known as Rock-ness monsters who’s scales are made of an indestructible metal alloy called ultanium. They have a bio-mechanical hybrid anatomy that allows them to live in the ocean by using it’s gasoline to combust internally, creating the energy they require to function and survive.
The humanoid species there known as Heloxians are bi-pedal with translucent upper bodies made out of an oil-based plastic, protecting them from the constant and extreme heat of the three suns that orbit the planet. Their legs have evolved into ultanium from generations of travel across the rough and coarse sand, and they live off of the vapour fires that surround the coasts of the gasoline oceans. Although… The Rock-ness monsters have grown to become accustomed to the tasted of Heloxian, causing the Heloxian numbers to dwindle over the last few thousand years.
Fuelium is surrounded by 3 suns that each have a mathematically identical gravitational pull on the planet, which caused the planet to become frozen still in a triangularly locked gravitational paradox. Therefore the planet does not orbit the suns, the suns orbit the planet, causing it to spin in one place, never allowing the chance for darkness or night.
Fuck now I wanna follow this up and write a Sci-Fi Novel. Damn you.
Q. What’s The Most Embarrassing Band You listen To?
Probably Coldplay. Although I’m not really embarrassed by it, because I’ve seen them live a few times and they’re exceptionally talented at writing and performing. So to each their own.
Q. If You Were Facing Unbeatable And Fatal Odds Which Song Would you Want To Go Out To?
It would probably be a song called “4-Minute Warning” by Radiohead. Just because it’s really haunting, eerie and every single time I listen to it I envision an Asteroid hitting the Earth and everyone running for their lives in slow motion. The song almost forces time around you to slow down. It’s a weird feeling if you listen to it with headphones on and just let it take you. If the world was just about to end, that would be the song I envision playing in the background of our demise. Here it is…
Q. Stella Or Guinness? Why?
Guinness by a long shot. It’s velvety, smooth, creamy and it’s made from malted barley.
Stella is made predominantly with corn as it’s main ingredient, which by the Belgian rules of beer brewing technically means it’s even considered a real beer. Much like the majority of all the shit beers that are the most popular all over the world like Budweiser, Molson, Labbat, Heineken, Corona and many more. Who not only use corn, but GMO corn.
Real Beer is made from Water, hops, yeast and a cereal grain such as barley, oats or wheat. Corn is not considered by true Brewmasters as a legitimate ingredient for making beer. Corn is a vegetable grain not a cereal grain and all these shit beer companies only use it because it’s much cheaper to mass produce with, which is the same reason why they feed corn to all the animals they use for the meat and dairy industry.
Q. If You Could Accomplish One Thing In Your Music Career, What Would It Be? When You Achieve That Will You Quit?
It would be to become a self-sustaining, self-reliant musician/performer. My #1 goal is to be able to quit my job and solely pursue, make, create, learn, teach and perform music.
I’ll never quit because after that goal I’d move on to another and another and another until the day I die. The day you stop having goals and a passion for what you love most, is the day you might as well not be alive, because ultimately a life without passion is nothing more than an existence. And anyone can exist, but not everyone can truly live.
Q. Would You Accept 1 Million Dollars Now To Give Up Any And All Music Forever? If Not What Would Be Your Price?
Never. Not for any price. Money has no value in the world. You are born with none and you die with none. You take only what you carry inside your mind, heart and soul. Like all art, life and nature, music is priceless. Music is filled and created with ideas, and an idea can be more powerful than any amount of money. Music is also a part of who I am, I would be trading a part of my soul that I can never get back, and for what? Paper? Cars? Houses? Food? Clothes? No thanks I’d rather keep my identity.
Q. What Really Pisses You Off?
lol, I could write a novel the size of an encyclopedia on this. But I will summarize it as much as possible.
I hate ignorance. I hate human beings who refuse to learn and accept knowledge, or accept knowledge and do nothing. There are travesties, nightmares, massacres and an absurd amount of evil things happening all over the world in areas ranging from everything, from our food, to our water, laws, education, politics, environment, science, music, business, production, technology, art, health and much, MUCH more.
For people to have the information available to them and yet not want to know, or for them to be told and yet not care or look the other way, is as bad as the people who are committing these acts themselves. At the end of the day, the world could use more empathy, more passion, more self-reflection, forward thinking, stronger morals and a higher standard of life for every living thing on this planet.
Q. Worst Thing Ever Eaten?
The most vile and disgusting thing I’ve ever eaten was not by choice, nor was I aware I was eating it until it was too late. When I was younger I used to love apple juice, so one day when I was really thirsty, I took a can out of the fridge poked two holes in the top and started chugging. I began to notice an extremely odd taste as I felt a few objects lightly touch my throat on the way down. I caught one in my mouth, tasted it for a second and immediately spit it out into the sink. Apparently the can had been sealed wrong, the apple juice had gone bad and there were hundreds of pieces of green and white mold globules floating around. I immediately tried to force myself to throw it all up, but that didn’t work and I had to keep it all down, stuck with the after taste of the mold at the back of my throat.
Q. What Do You Geek Out To Besides Your Music?
Oh boy where do I start? I’m a comic, science, space, fantasy, film, history, archaeology, anthropology, sociology, mega-super-nerd. More specifically I’m a MASSIVE Star Wars and Lord of The Rings Geek. I’ve spent hours upon countless hours looking up characters, family tree’s, planets, weapons, vehicles, events, creatures, monsters, architecture and a ton of other useless lore about both Middle-Earth and the Star Wars Universe. Not to mention every comic book superhero known to man. I can tell you almost anything, about anyone having to do with any of the things I listed above.
I also used to play Dungeons and Dragons with my scout group… It doesn’t get much geekier than that.
Q. What Are The Unwritten Rules On Tour?
- Don’t fuck with people’s sleep
- 2 Drink minimum before you hit the stage
- Always tell someone where you’re going before you take off
- It’s the passengers responsibility to navigate and keep the driver awake
- If you fart in the van open the window
- Don’t use all the hot water in the shower
- Don’t be a dick. The situation is stressful enough as it is.
Buy Last Bullet’s “Sin” on iTunes HERE.