(Rules of The Gauntlet: The artists (Like in this case drummrt Ted Mitchell [and check this out, he’s a Doctor of History!] of Michigan based, Alternative Rock Band Willamena) is sent a butt ton of questions ranging from standard to stupid from which they must choose at least 12 to answer and return them to us with a minimum of tear stains.)
Tell me why your music rules. Or why it sucks.
Because rock and roll always wins, and rock and roll is not a game for young men.
Which Muppet would you marry, which one would you wanna knife fight in a swamp, and which one should be our global emperor? Why?
Animal, for all. No explanation needed.
Show us your best interpretive dance about your favorite TV show.
Let me explain: I vomit, throw a rubber chicken in the air, a dog eats my vomit, which makes me vomit again, in which the rubber chicken falls. Breaking Bad.
What’s the history of your band as told by your favorite fictional character?
“I listened to Willamena and killed the fucking whale.” – Captain Ahab
Do you have names for your instruments? If so what are they?
Chad calls the Martin acoustic “Marty.” He also calls his Gibson Les Paul “Lester.” I don’t call my drums anything. I beat the shit out of them and expect them to respond the next night.
What’s the stupidest thing you have ever heard someone say?
We don’t have enough time to discuss the sheer stupidity of humanity…
Who are your influences?
Soundgarden (Matt Cameron), Clutch (don’t even know the drummer’s name, but he’s fantastic), Jeff Buckley, Philly Joe Jones (John Coltrane), Tony Williams (Miles Davis)
Have you named your bodily parts and what are they?
No. So no.
Which band member are you positive is an extraterrestrial and what does their planet look like? Details!
Lucas (lead singer). He loves Orson Scott Card, so his planet likely looks like some sort of Mormon dream.
What legendary musicians would you like to play badminton with?
John Bonham and Keith Moon. The birdie would likely explode. It’d be both epic and akin to Randy Johnson’s legendary bird-killing fastball.
Any tours planned?
Why should people experience your music?
Because people are sick of bullshit.
Describe your face.
The best face. (That’s my Donald Trump response.)
Stella or Guinness? Why?
They both suck. Give me an IPA.
What musicians should quit forever and never be seen or heard from again?
Nickelback, though they seem like nice guys. So Justin Bieber. He seems like a dick, and he’s Canadian, too. Though I love the Canadians. Good folks.
What would you like to say to your fans?
I will talk to you if you buy me a beer.
Where do your song names come from?
There’s a good chance you will look back and be embarrassed by your current hairstyle. Discuss.
I cut my own hair. It’s all the same length. I save money. Nothing to be embarrassed about.
If you could accomplish one thing in a music career what would it be? When you achieve that will you quit?
Make a living playing music. No, because if I quit playing, I likely won’t be making a living.
Top five favorite albums?
Jeff Buckley: Grace
Miles Davis: Miles Smiles
Currently, I’ve been listening to Nothing But Thieves constantly.
What really pisses you off?
Who the fuck do you think you are?
Ted R. Mitchell, Ph.D.
If you could ask yourself one question what would it be?
Why am I asking myself a question? Is this self-doubt? Am I going crazy?
Worst thing ever eaten?
What do you geek out to besides your music? Please geek out on your geekiness.
I really, really love to play board games. Also, I’m a huge fan of sci-fi and fantasy. Finally, I have a Ph.D. in history. Pretty geeky.
How many unarmed but very angry 4 year olds would it take to kick your ass?
I have a 4-year-old. It’d probably take about three to four of him.